R2OK!

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

Background: for those who’ve never read my blog – just a bit of background about this award. Here in the dcms office we have a weekly award, usually given out at our Friday morning meeting while we tuck into doughnuts and coffee: the award is a very small clock. The clock is a small corporate gift type clock – the sort you get if you go to business show at Earl’s Court 2 or Excel – you know the sort of thing. We’ve had it years: the boss gives the clock to whomever he thinks has performed the best that particular week. Yay! (I’ve been given it by the boss several times) The recipient is allowed to keep the clock for one week only, proudly displaying it somewhere around their desk, so that everyone knows that they are the bosses favourite that week. It’s a good motivator. In my blog I started to award an imaginary clock to the presenter whom was my favourite that week… it was Lynn Bowles this week, Sally Traffic the week before, and then I can’t remember who it was before that…..anyway since my blog has died and disappeared I’ll give it a go on here:- nominations for the clock ( if any) only by PM please J

So to start things off: this week’s winner and custodian of the dcms Imaginary Clock is : Lynn Bowles.

SantaFefan · Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:30 pm Post subject:

I had no idea she looked like that...
Surely the clock may as well be engraved "To Steve Wright" as he continually teeters on the very pinnacle of perfection in broadcasting?? Wink

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I have heard how radio should be.

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

I think that's quite an old photo, Santa but there's not many of Lynn around on the web. It's an odd award Santa: Steve W may get it one week we'll see; but it's given for unusual reasons, not just how good they are.

Helen May · Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 19300 Location: Cheshire

She has quite long hair now, I clicked on the webcam one day and was surprised!

H
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I said it live on air in the studio with Jeremy Vine on 10/3/2005

littlepieces · Joined: 10 Jan 2010 Posts: 1098 Location: Lowestoft

One winner and that is the man on at 0200 Mr Lester
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R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

littlepieces · Joined: 10 Jan 2010 Posts: 1098 Location: Lowestoft

ah ok im with you i will go for sarah kennedy....oh hold on
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I found out how you can hurt an insect.It's the bees knees

RockitRon · Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 7646

That's not such a bad idea - an imaginary grandmother clock award

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

This week's winner and custodian ( for one week only) of the dcms Imaginary Clock Award goes to.....

Graham Norton.

There's not many men who've made me howl in the kitchen.

ruddlescat · Joined: 16 Sep 2010 Posts: 18010 Location: Near Chester

Is that howling in a good way or a bad one though Rachel?
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Ian Robinson · Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 9:47 am Post subject:

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

gazmando · Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 560 Location: Huntingdon

Howling in the kitchen!!!!1
Just checking it is the CLOCK of the week (ahem).
By the way Rachel, why did Sally and Lynn win the previous weeks clocks?

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

To make this more efficient, so that all clocks are awarded on the same day, (I’ve just won ours- yay!) this particular award ceremony is being moved to Friday mornings. Just in case you’re wondering when that is: it’s pretty much right now. Woo-hoo! So without further delay or unnecessary procrastination, I’m very pleased to announce that this week’s winner and custodian of the dcms Imaginary Clock Award, is a man without whom we’d never hear that unforgettable sound from our childhoods, a man with magic fingers and a man whom sports the coolest and bravest of haircuts, a man who made me laugh uncontrollably, earlier this week- yes really: I’m talking about the Organist who really does entertain – well done Mr Nigel Ogden- what a fantastic show this week, the opening track Bahn Frei Polka by Charlie Balogh is why you are now the recipient of this award. My mum used to play that.

I’ve never laughed so much in my life as I did when that track started off. You see, when I was little, my mum was the coolest of mums, she was a session musician, (Drums and Keyboards) she was also the drummer in a Punk Rock Band but for some reason (probably my dad) she was also into Organ Music- she played it endlessly. She was also the coolest mum because she was very rock and roll, she used to pay me to stay off school to do the housework – so she could thrash about on the back of one of her many men-friend’s motorbikes. When I worked that out, she’d pay me extra not to mention it to my dad. Anyway one day, I came home: my dad was sat by the fire crying, (the only time ever I saw him do that). Where’s mum? She’s gone, he said. Gone where? Just gone. I didn’t see my mum again for over ten years- she never said goodbye- no kiss, no note, nothing, just gone, I was eleven. During that time I fondly imagined that she’d done the rock’n’roll thing: she’d ran off with a hunky guitarist, formed her own band and was touring the world, one day a big motor home would pull up outside, she’d call me in and I would become part of her band and life would be fabulous once again but no: she’d actually ran off with a travelling Baker who couldn’t play a note, and was living not that far away but couldn’t be bothered to tell me. She was such a disappointment. Anyway when I heard the Organist Entertains earlier in the week- a programme I’ve never listened to before, all of that, all the heartache, all of it rushed back like an express train but was met head-on by my current circumstances and I just burst out laughing at myself really for all those years that I punished myself for thinking it was my fault that my mum ran off. It wasn’t my fault.

RockitRon · Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 7646

As ever, Rach, you leave me lost for words, just glad for your here and now. Smile

I'm not sure there is any way I could come to love that treatment of Edouard Strauss though.

ruddlescat · Joined: 16 Sep 2010 Posts: 18010 Location: Near Chester

What a very sad story Rach - I assume that eventually you and your mum went some way to repairing the damage in later life Sad

It's really never the fault of any child it one of their parents disappears without trace not least because children don't choose to be born - their parents choose to have them and even if they are unplanned it's still the parents who must take proper responsibility

My boys don't have a mum living here but at least they know where she is and can contact her if desired although generally they choose to do so only infrequently - but the fact they can provides some element of reassurance which every child needs
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R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

Oh it's not sad, Rudds, it's just life. Smile

gazmando · Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 560 Location: Huntingdon

I found that story sad aswell Ruddles, my Dad left when I was 11 and I remember being devastated at the time.
Luckily my Dad was only half a mile away and took us out at weekends and we could visit him too!!!
That certainly is a very brave haircut from ol' Nige (That line cracked me up Rachel haha)
Talking of The Organist entertains, on CE show last year he played a tune a couple of times that he heard on Nigel's show which I think was played by an American.
It was a really epic rousing tune but I can't remember what it was and was wondering if anybody remembers it (I know I won't have many suggestions from CE's fanclub Wink

)

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

Owning to a Friday off: this week’s award ceremony for the dcms Imaginary Clock, has been brought forward to today: .. well right now actually.

We’ve had six nominations this week. 1. Richard Allinson. 2. Chris Evans. 3. Jeremy Vine. 4. Ken Bruce. 5. Liza Tarbuck. And 6. Jo Whiley.

After a fairly heated debate in our conference room (biscuits were broken and labour was threatened to be withdrawn) we have shortened the list to one worthy winner.

Having this week’s winner on the radio, is I imagine ( cos I don't have one) like having your best friend with you in the kitchen, sat up on the breakfast bar, swinging their legs, while drinking coffee, eating chunky-choccy hob-nobs, putting the world right and chatting about nothing in particular or even important. This week’s winner, is Liza Tarbuck. BZ to Liza. (Bravo Zulu)

Now I know Liza is a stand-in- (trust me, I’ve just has this out with the team here: if I get one more rule or regulation quoted at me- I’ll swing for someone) and stand-ins don’t usually qualify to be considered for this award but there is provision buried deep down in the rules ( Ch 9 Para 7 sub-section 4.2.1.2.1. -knowledge is power) to allow a stand-in to qualify for consideration for the dcms Imaginary Clock Award ,if, and this is the clincher, at any time in their career, they have worked with Martin Freeman. It’s there in black and white.

RockitRon · Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 7646

I haven't been able to catch her on her present stint, so can't comment.
I do wish she'd do a bit more on television though.

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

After a further review, and owning to a series of Fridays off for several key members of the team here at the Department, we have now settled on Thursdays being the day that we award the dcms Imaginary Clock. It’s the only day that we’re all here!

This week we’ve had Five Nominations: - 1. Chris Evans. 2. Alex Lester. 3. Tony Blackburn. 4. Zoe Ball. 5. Simon Mayo.

We had the whole : but Zoe Ball is just a stand-in argument rear its ugly head again but, and I hate being right all the time, I pointed out that interview backstage after the BAFTAS in 2011- so Zoe qualifies for consideration under the same rule that Liza did last week. ( It’s a great rule: is there anyone who hasn’t worked with Martin Freeman?)

However: that said, and argument won: this week's dcms Imaginary Clock Award goes to: and I know it seems so obvious to give the award to this person, he has after all, won more awards than all other DJs added together but … and here’s the thing… he’s never won this award, ( the one every DJ wants to win) all his other awards are made of something: glass, plastic , gold, silver, copper whatever but this Award is made of pure imagination, you can’t imagine a better award than this one:- so well done to, wait for it: he’s tried so hard to win this week: the research he must have done into exactly what we like has so impressed us – so let’s hear it for Chris Evans. … and I quote… “ Good Morning to all Lady Gardeners out there”

ruddlescat · Joined: 16 Sep 2010 Posts: 18010 Location: Near Chester

That's all very well and good Rach but aren't you forgetting the rule that anyone putting forward a nomination must be a qualified undertaker who owns and drives a pink Cadillac (right hand drive of course) with matching seat covers displaying fluffy dice and who must be wearing purple underwear at the time of submitting said nomination?

Have all these details been properly checked?

If not we might have to demand a public inquiry Smile

P.S. Can I be considered for 'Post of the Week' next time it's up for grabs Laughing

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R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

Just time for a really quick ceremony this week… ( my mum is here visiting!)

Three nominations this week: Alex Lester, Tony Blackburn and Rebecca Pike.

This week’s winner and custodian of the dcms Imaginary Clock Award is ….

…. Rebecca Pike.

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

Well it’s that time of the week again: yes folks, it’s that moment, we, and they, have all been waiting for. It’s time to dish-out the dcms Imaginary Clock Award.
We’ve received six nominations this week. Thank you.

1. Simon Mayo. 2. Sally Traffic. 3. Ken Bruce. 4. Alex Lester (which is curious because he’s away this week- perhaps his effect lingers?) 5. Jeremy Vine. and 6. Tony Blackburn.

It’s a toughy for us this week because we would love to give all of this week’s nominees an award but it’s not to be, alas, there can, in the words of Christopher Lambert, be only one.

I should say that Simon Mayo has very nearly clinched it with his confession last night with the doorbell that sent our Dog, Hooby, bonkers- so we missed the entire confection ( it’s meant to say to say confection there, I didn’t make a typo) but he has been pipped at the post by a combination of my mum and … Ken Bruce… you see I was driving my mum back up to the airport from Cornwall earlier this week and Ken Bruce was on air… she said , I thought Terry Wogan had retired? I said well, sort of he’s changed down a gear or two. Changed down a gear!? He’s changed his accent too, he sounds Scottish now…. I said, this is Ken Bruce, mum. Who!? Well done, Ken. Remember put it somewhere where everyone can see it.

ruddlescat · Joined: 16 Sep 2010 Posts: 18010 Location: Near Chester

Funnily enough my former mother in law (sadly now deceased) used to confuse good old Ken for Mr Wogan

It must be a generational thing I think - perhaps one's sense of hearing might change over the age of ---

I'm not going to specify any particular age as I don't know how old your mother is Rach and I don't want to insult her Smile

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RockitRon · Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 7646

Until the last few years, when Wogan's voice lowered to such an extent that he was sometimes mumbling in his boots, or over his snorkers, Ken did sound quite similar, if you ignore the Scots/Irish tinge, and they do both have a dry appreciation of the absurdities of life.

That probably explains why, when Terry vacated the breakfast show first time round, Ken taking his place wasn't quite such a hit with the listeners.

littlepieces · Joined: 10 Jan 2010 Posts: 1098 Location: Lowestoft

Ex wife is scotish but living in london every now and then she would say "Ken" when we were talking it turns out that people in the villiages use the name to mean "i Know" so when we went up to visit all i kept hearing was bloody "KEN"We have now been divorced a good 7/8 years and every now and then i use it to family and friends Laughing

Good link im sure you will find from Ken to Ken bruce....perhaps not
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R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

I ken what you're saying LP. Smile

ruddlescat · Joined: 16 Sep 2010 Posts: 18010 Location: Near Chester

Ah yes of course - I've absolutely nothing against the Scots or their use of regional words and expressions but sadly that Scottish word 'ken' always reminds me of the words of that horrible hunting song

'Da ya ken John Peel with his coat so green' etc, etc

As an active supporter of the animal welfare movement I'm afraid it leaves a very nasty taste in my mouth Mad

Having said that I think that particular song might have English origins - does anyone know without checking on Wikipedia Smile

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R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

There’s been lots of awards given out this week, and most of them are now sat on a shelf in the R2 Breakfast Show Silverware Cabinet, so it would be so easy for us to add the dcms Imaginary Clock Award to that collection this week but, no. We don’t work like that. Going with the flow is not an option here. We hand out the award to the presenter whom not just meets but exceeds our criteria in any given week. We do of course take full account of the nominations we receive but ultimately it is our own criteria we use to decide on the winner.

This week we’ve had six nominations as follows: 1. Vanessa Feltz. 2. Jeremy Vine. 3. Ken Bruce. 4. Richard Madeley. (although we cannot find an example of any R2 Broadcasting he’s done this week) 5. Alex Lester. And 6. Chris Evans. Quite a bunch.

This week’s winner is, we imagine, not able to be here to collect his award- he’ll be trying to sleep somewhere or lying exhausted, unable to move, facedown in a CD Bargain Bucket at HMV. He is of course, the man who never sleeps but equally the man who never seems to be quite awake, yes, the time has come – after 30 years without sleep or awards, The Dark Lord has won something- it is only an imaginary clock but if you imagine really hard, that could be quite something- so well done to Mr Alex Lester, put it somewhere prominent Alex. You’ve won.

We couldn't find a better picture.

RockitRon · Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 7646

ruddlescat · Joined: 16 Sep 2010 Posts: 18010 Location: Near Chester

Great Picture Rach, but do I detect Alex is blushing a bit there or is he just prone to hot flushes?

I mention it because a few years ago a man came to see me in my old office complaining about hot flushes which rather threw me and after a dead silence I asked him whether he had told his GP

It was rather embarrassing when he replied that I'd got totally the wrong end of the stick - it was a legal problem rather than a medical one because some incompetent plumber he'd engaged to refit his bathroom had connected his toilet cistern up to the hot water supply Laughing

It was only several hours later when having lunch I happened to look at the calendar and you can guess what date it was - yes my loyal and faithful staff had well and truly set me up Smile

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R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

I don’t really know anything about the picture, Rudds. I didn’t take it. I was really nervous you see- suffering from the “Tom Jones” effect when it comes to Alex – even though we’re married, not to each other of course, he is the one DJ who can at times make my heart go bumpety bump- tis the music and time of day I think. So you can imagine how nervous I would be when having to present him with an award- even an imaginary one such as this: yes, exactly: very.

Being thrust into this situation brought to mind some advice that Alex gave me many years ago now, when I was going to be taking part in a selection process for a job as a Really Big Cheese with a very large organisation. Anyway, Alex said, don’t be nervous just imagine those people on the other side of the desk, sitting on the loo, and all will be well. During the interview, I couldn’t stop laughing, I thought I’d blown it: however, it seemed to work because they said they were after someone with a sense of humour and had misinterpreted my mirth as being the result of their rather disastrous one liners and not my imaginings of them sat on the throne- so I got the job which was great.

Hot Flushes……after the third reading, I just got that Laughing

littlepieces · Joined: 10 Jan 2010 Posts: 1098 Location: Lowestoft

After just having had my breakfast i log(no pun intended) on and see a picture of Mr Lester doing something that i thought only he and royalty never did
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I found out how you can hurt an insect.It's the bees knees

SantaFefan · Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 2:38 pm Post subject:

Frank was known to frequent the Thunder Box now and then... Laughing

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Johnnie Walker read out my message on Pirate Radio! Very Happy

13/8/07
I have heard how radio should be.

becky sharp · Joined: 01 Dec 2008 Posts: 6792

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

It’s that time of the week when the entire Radio 2 team gather around their PC screens, full of excitement and anticipation, to see which one of them will, this week, walk off with the dcms Imaginary Clock. Well there’s been some tough choices this week:- no nominations at all: is anyone listening? So it’s down to us here in the office. The professional listeners, cos that is how we are known. It’s time for us to earn our crust before heading off for another week in the sun. I’d like to go for Craig Charles but apparently I’m not allowed to because he was a stand-in and I’ve bent the rules on that way too much over recent weeks, so that leaves Jack – the biggest Chris Evans fan ever and Karen, who prefers Radio 1 – well she’s so young you see but works here because well, she does. John, wants to go for Vanessa Feltz and James has put forward Steve Wright. So: a bit of a pickle.

This is where you’ll see why I’m in management. As I’ve just pointed out to the team – the clock can be awarded to a presenter, a show, or to any of the production staff. So for this week’s winner, we’ve gone for the Jo Whiley Show- which this week is being covered by Craig Charles. Well done Jo!

RockitRon · Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 7646

Don't often get to hear him, but Craig Charles always seems to be at ease and clearly enjoys his work on radio. He keeps things simple, in presenting terms, and plays a good range.

The imaginary clock will come in handy if he needs somewhere to hide his..... raffle ticket.

R2Icon · Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 1444

Firstly- apologies for the delay- we’ve been caught up in the fuel crisis panic- it was chaos at the Tesco roundabout this morning, but panic no further because, yes, it’s that time again. It’s imaginary clock time. Another week without a single nomination, we’re wondering perhaps if our chosen winners aren’t meeting your expectations? Anyway, we soldier on.
This week the choice was easy. This week we are awarding, not the usual imaginary clock but an imaginary sundial instead: it’s going to the entire Team behind the Chris Evans Breakfast Show, imagine how it might be possible to find someone who could talk so much that Chris Evans couldn’t get a word in edgeways: yeah we know, that’s a tough call baby, but yesterday, they did it. Dr Sundial (Frank) is a force of nature – well done for finding him- we couldn’t stop laughing- we thought he was never going to stop.