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R2 Imaginary Clock Award- Christmas Special.

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Joined: 10 Sep 2009
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 3:33 pm    Post subject: R2 Imaginary Clock Award- Christmas Special. Reply with quote

I know. Donít write in. Smile

History teaches us that even the most truly awful of shows have managed to throw together a Christmas Special, just to milk the last remnants of life from the viewer/listener at a time when theyíre helplessly pinned to their sofas by the EU mountain of festive sustenance lodged in their swollen bellies: their little fingers too fat with Yule to pick up the remote, they are a perfect, if half asleep, captive audience. The R2 Imaginary Clock Award is no different. Yes folks! Here it is: we are back for a very merry one-off Christmas Special Award Ceremony. How cool is that?! Ice Ice Baby. Yay!

So, I hear you ask- how is this going to work? Well as I type, we, I say we, I mean I, have no idea- nope not a clue. You see, Iím in the office completely on my own, the night before we all go on holiday (the rest of em have already gone), thereís not a sound, not even a squeak from a mouse can be heard over my keyboard rattle, even the normally deafening air-conditioning has fallen silent- itís actually quite scary, the activity detectors which we call work detectors have switched off all the lights except for the ones here in my little corner. So itís just me and you: very cosy. Welcome to my world. Hold onto my hand and weíll be on our way on a thrilling adventure, which starts on a sunny afternoon sat right here on this park bench near Westminster BridgeÖ..

..With river-boats gliding past like silent trains on the water, we sit there motionless for a while just thinking: the footpath in front of us alive with human scurry, wasted lives lived always on the run but not us, no, we have all the time in the world because in this world, we set the clocks. It is time to eat. I know a fab little Italian near St Paulís Ė itís underground- here we are, just down the steps and to the left. You go first, I know: itís just magic, donít worry itís better than the tube. Small and cosy but fab food, and if you ask very very nicely, theyíll go out to get chips to go with your Lasange from another place across the road. They donít do chips of their own you see. Oh here they are. How cool is that? Yummy! Eye contact- linger just a little. The bill- already paid. Back up the steps we came down and out into Tottenham Court Road. Music. Music. Music. A guitar and amplifier! What, in this crowd? Donít worry Ďll put it in my handbag- there it goes. Buskers- wait listen, no! Letís hear another one, youíll like this one, tis your favourite. Oh itís nearly time, through this arch and into the Festival Hall. How? Donít ask. Award ceremony. Celeb host. Cheering crowds, bright spotlight. Whoís this for? Itís for you sweetheartÖ go get it!
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