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Cherskiy
Joined: 08 Dec 2006 Posts: 3701 Location: near Amble, Northumberland
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 2:29 pm Post subject: Santa's Yearly Flight Test |
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Although Santa Claus is famous throughout the world, it remains a little-known fact that each year he has to submit himself, his sleigh and his reindeer to a piloting and airworthiness inspection which is carried out by the UK Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) in order to allow him to continue operating in UK airspace. During the test, his own piloting skills are tested to the limit. Santa, of course, readily agrees to this yearly procedure, as without the necessary clearances from the CAA, boys and girls throughout Great Britain would be hugely disappointed come Christmas morning!
At the beginning of December, Santa was asked to turn up at Farnborough Airport where the annual CAA inspection would take place. As usual, his sleigh was pulled by the nine famous flying reindeer: Rudolph (of ‘red nose’ fame), Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Donder, Blitzen, Cupid and Comet. Parking up outside the CAA offices, Santa started to get out of the sleigh to walk the short distance to the office but noticed that the inspector was already at the door, clad in a warm coat, gloves, scarf and woolly hat. Santa chuckled to himself – although he himself was immune to the cold at high altitude, it never failed to amuse him when the inspector found it difficult to write the in-flight reports on his clipboard due to uncontrollable shaking and shivers.
Both men exchanged their usual greetings as the inspector walked towards Santa's sleigh, examining its landing skids, the reins, then the reindeer’s harnesses and finally Rudolph’s bright red nose, which doubled as the statutory anti-collision light. The CAA official then painstakingly reviewed Santa’s weight, plus the centre-of-gravity calculations for what would be an enormous payload that year (as with every one beforehand!).
After several minutes, finally satisfied with what he found, the examiner hopped into the sleigh’s passenger seat in preparation for the flight test. However, Santa couldn’t help but notice that this year, in addition to his usual clipboard, the CAA official was also carrying a pump-action shotgun.
“What’s that for?” Santa asked, pointing to the weapon. The CAA examiner glanced at the shotgun, then looked across at Santa and winked.
“Oh, that – well, I shouldn’t really tell you before the test, but this year you’re going to lose an engine on take-off!”
Cherskiy _________________ Author: “To the Ends of the Earth: A Snapshot of Aviation in North-Eastern Siberia, Summer 1992”
(Free to read via Kindle Unlimited) |
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Lord Evan Elpuss
Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 3417 Location: Cloud Cuckoo Land
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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Actually there were 10 reindeer. You forgot to mention Bruno, the unsung hero right at the back of the pack, he's the one with the brown nose. He was just as fast as all the others but couldn't stop quite as quickly!
Won't Santa's sleigh have to have a 'mode S' transponder fitted to his sleigh by next Christmas and I hope he remembers not to overfly the garage & houses when he gets to Popham airfield! |
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mark occomore
Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 9955 Location: UK
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Rachel Guest
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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Chersiky,
That's fab... |
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Cherskiy
Joined: 08 Dec 2006 Posts: 3701 Location: near Amble, Northumberland
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks, Rachel - you have a great Christmas, too....
Cherskiy _________________ Author: “To the Ends of the Earth: A Snapshot of Aviation in North-Eastern Siberia, Summer 1992”
(Free to read via Kindle Unlimited) |
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