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mark occomore
Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 9955
Location: UK
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RockitRon
Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 7646
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 Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:41 am Post subject: |
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I'm convinced people do this just to get their name in lights.
Was there any need to blab to the media about it?
Was there a need to write to him, if, as he maintains, no-one had even had spoken to him about it?
My limited experience of social clubs would suggest that the noise of his flatulence couldn't be any worse than the sound of whatever music or live act they've got on.
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Lord Evan Elpuss
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 3417
Location: Cloud Cuckoo Land
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:50 am Post subject: |
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The smell of it?  Probably more noticeable since the smoking ban kicked in!
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Lord Evan Elpuss, Your ideal job is a Lumberjack. |
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mark occomore
Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 9955
Location: UK
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:00 am Post subject: |
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| RockitRon wrote: | I'm convinced people do this just to get their name in lights.
Was there any need to blab to the media about it?
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Someone must have blown the wind, sorry whistle? 
He will win arse of the year.. |
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Rachel
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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All together...
My mother had , the vicar and
The vicar's wife to tea...
They cleared the room...
They blamed it on the dog..
But it was me....
I ......
I’ve been eating cabbages, prunes and pears and beans
drinking dandelion 'n' burdock and you know what that means...
anyone remember that song by Ivor Biggun and the Red Nose Burglars? |
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Lord Evan Elpuss
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 3417
Location: Cloud Cuckoo Land
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:42 pm Post subject: |
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Confucious, he say
Where ever you may be let your wind blow free.
In church or chapel, let it rattle,
For the want of a fart could be the death of me!
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Lord Evan Elpuss, Your ideal job is a Lumberjack. |
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Barkingbiker
Joined: 11 Dec 2006
Posts: 2313
Location: Lincolnshire
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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Tae A Fert
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,
Lurks in yer belly after the feastie.
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin,
There sterts to stir an enormous wind.
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas,
Stert workin like a gentle breeze.
But soon the puddin' wi the sauncie face,
Will have ye blawin all ower the place.
Nea matter whit ye try tae dae,
A'bodys gonnae have tae pay.
Even if ye try stifle,
It's like a bullet oot a rifle.
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair,
Tae try and stop the leakin' air.
Shift yersel frae cheek to cheek,
Pray tae God it doesny reek.
But aw yer efforts go assunder,
Oot it comes - a clap o' thunder.
Ricochets aroon the room,
Michty me, a sonic boom!
God almighty it fairly reeks,
Hope I huvnae pooed ma breeks!
Tae the loo I better scurry,
Aw who cares, its no mae worry.
A'body roon aboot me chokin,
Wan or two are nearly bokin.
I'll feel better for a while,
Cannae help but raise a smile.
"Wis him!" I shout with accusin' glower,
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower!
"Yer dirty thing!" they shout and stare,
I don't feel welcome any mair.
Where ere ye go let yer wind gang free,
Sounds like just the job to me.
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's perty,
Ower the sake o' wan wee ferty!!!!
 
BB 
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SantaFefan
Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 11258
Location: top of the cliffs in Norfolk
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| Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:47 am Post subject: |
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Excellent BB! I couldn't help but imagine Frazer from Dad's Army reading that!
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Johnnie Walker read out my message on Pirate Radio! 13/8/07
I have heard how radio should be. |
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Lord Evan Elpuss
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 3417
Location: Cloud Cuckoo Land
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| Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:54 am Post subject: |
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Lord Evan Elpuss, Your ideal job is a Lumberjack. |
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Barkingbiker
Joined: 11 Dec 2006
Posts: 2313
Location: Lincolnshire
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| Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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| SantaFefan wrote: |
Excellent BB! I couldn't help but imagine Frazer from Dad's Army reading that! |
It was told to me by a wee red nosed Jock chappie at a barbie in Saudi when he was high on my "AAA" brew. It took me years to get him to write it down for me. He was a lot like Frazer, but more obnoxious!
BB
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Old Bikers Never Die, our leathers just get tighter! |
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Gnasty Gnome
Joined: 28 Jul 2007
Posts: 313
Location: West Wales
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| Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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A fart is good at any time
It gives the body ease
It warms your bed in winter
And is music for the fleas. |
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Lord Evan Elpuss
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 3417
Location: Cloud Cuckoo Land
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| Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 6:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Gnasty Gnome wrote: |
It warms your bed in winter. |
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Lord Evan Elpuss, Your ideal job is a Lumberjack. |
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