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Murder at Tesco

 
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RockitRon



Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 7565

PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 11:30 am    Post subject: Murder at Tesco Reply with quote

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was 5,000..

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single 1 Coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the 1 as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco Extra Store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands and as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor........

The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband, who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...









Wait for it ...












'ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO!'

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ruddlescat



Joined: 16 Sep 2010
Posts: 18010
Location: Near Chester

PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 11:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ron I think I'll have to ask the police to arrest you for old jokes!
The only flaw in the story is that the husband would not be entitled to clain under the insurance policy if it were proved that he had been involved in his Wife's murder
Very amusing though!
This makes me wonder whether you should start a new thread for posters jokes as long as they didn't get too blue
Sounds like a good idea to me or is there already one on here?
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RockitRon



Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 7565

PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 12:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We have always given them individual threads within the Q&T Zone.
If you've got several to share you can always put them on one thread and entitle it "Midweek Mirth" or "Thursday Titters" or something equally daft.

A girl friend of my wife sends me these jokes and I sometimes pick one or two up from other forums. 90% of them aren't repeatable, though, because we have never gone in for racist, sexist or blue material here. And especially not blonde jokes Very Happy
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RockitRon



Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 7565

PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 12:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, John has found a "Joke For Today" thread Smile
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