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Radio Soap ( The Dark Soap)

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:45 am    Post subject: Radio Soap ( The Dark Soap) Reply with quote

A new Radio Soap Opera to rival the Archers and to put all the TV Soaps to shame is being planned on the Best Time of the Day Show. Maybe it will fill the 4:15 slot but maybe not. Who knows?

The vast production team- AKA Dr Strangelove (I’m not sure if that’s his real name- he might be called Simon or some other equally normal name but he likes Dr Strangelove so we should go with that- he sleeps a lot you know- mainly under Alex’s desk) and the odd prod from Alex, are inviting listeners to send in details of where the Soap should be set (a village- a city- a hospital- a mortuary- a sailing club-NASA etc) and profiles hopefully of overly stereotypical characters to fill the Soap, oh and of course, a story line and script- - everything else will be down to the production team. So if you’ve ever wanted to be a Soap Writer- now is your big chance: if you fancy creating old *Mrs Brough from the Tripe Shop, Big Soft Doris and her two little lasses, and her sister Helen who had a bust like two melons and face like a backside with glasses. How about Perfumed Gordon the hairdresser and nobody to make it clear why a rude boy called Tailor cries out 'Hello Sailor' And something about ginger beer. Perhaps Desperate Derek his brother Big Eric and Basher and Masher and Butch and the barmaid lil who was willing for only a shilling but that was still about tenpence too much: or maybe Mavis who wouldn’t because her mum said she shouldn’t, or Neville who wished that he could and then perhaps Heather who said that she’d never, but looks like she probably would….get your pens out- send all your hard work to Alex!

* With thanks and apologies to my childhood friend.

Last edited by Rachel on Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:26 pm; edited 4 times in total
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 12:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Cracking idea. And what better time for a Soap than 4.15 in the morning?

I'll work on it - I've got to nip out and get a leaving present for someone at o/h office. Perhaps that's where we could set it - they're all either pregnant or jumping ship before it goes down (today's the anniversary of the Titanic) so there must be something there.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its not decided yet where the soap will be set, although, there was some strange ideas during last week’s shows… The place in my mind is a mixture of lots of places. A couple of possible characters came to mind overnight (while sleeping)

Dave the car-dealer – Dave is the head salesman at the local main dealer showroom, he’s the spitting image of Tony Blair but he has a really camp Welsh accent- no one trusts him- he’s not sold a car for years- he has been supplementing his income doing Prime Minister Kissagrams but his ministerial service has fallen out of favour with the locals since that incident last year with a jar of honey, a space-hopper and the Vicar’s wife: no one will talk about it.

Sam and Ella are non-identical female twins: after dropping out of catering college: together they bought a small bistro on the high street- They call it “ Come Dine with Sam’n’ Ella”. It’s surprisingly very popular and the main rival in the eating stakes with the village local pub- a ye olde world seafaring themed pub called the Squawking Parrot.

Stumpy Jack is the Landlord of The Squawking Parrot – the hub of the village-no one is sure why he’s called Stumpy or more often Stumps for short but he denies fervently that it has anything to do with his ex-wife’s handiwork. He’s never been to sea – he went to Blackpool once as a child but he runs the Squawking Parrot like a well-oiled galleon in full sail- complete with bells at just the right time. Local women have side bets with each other about who can pull stumps at the end of the night- he never gets the joke though.

PS Alex retold the tale of how Dr Strangelove got his name- Gosh I wouldn't know where to look. Making me go red just thinking about it. Ok, that one I can cope with- but those two, blimey, you gotta hand it to him, his name is perfect.
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:38 am    Post subject: Radio Soap (The Dark Soap) Reply with quote

They could have a hospital where serious ailments are cured in next to no time, with a psychiatric ward called the Catherine Zeta Jones ward.
We are loonies and we are proud!

- Campbell Bain in 'Takin' Over The Asylum'
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