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Alex Lester- The Dark Lord Diaries
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Rachel
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 8:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wednesday already! How did that happen? Hmmmmmm, and it’s raining.

Hot news!! …. Alex – a tenner light, is sitting in for Ken for the next couple of days. Live entertainment!- see…..there is a God!

On this morning’s show…. More on that being overpaid dilemma and more new Slogans, yes folks it’s truck-writing season. Wet fingers at the ready. Trash a truck with a trashy meaningless slogan that will leave truck followers everywhere perplexed.

“I’m going your way, be afraid, be very afraid”

“Full Fat Half Lard”.

“Moonlit Mover”

More on those secret agent partners….

“Airport” in Mandarin is this morning’s tongue twister from Alex’s pentathlic (made up word) lexicography of love for all of those taking five-centre holidays next year.
Chei tchi Chong or something like that. Sounds like it should be a dish.

First half time hooter of the week (don’t ask- it’s complicated- but there’s another one tomorrow- assuming Pete Mitchell remembers) – and a new Alex blog too, he’s such a high flyer – check it out.

All of that and fab music too.
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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rachel wrote:
Hmmmmmm, and it’s raining.


Is it ever! Huge puddle in the middle of next door neighbour's flat roof. I wonder if she needs to borrow an umbrella

Rachel wrote:
On this morning’s show…. More on that being overpaid dilemma and more new Slogans, yes folks it’s truck-writing season. Wet fingers at the ready. Trash a truck with a trashy meaningless slogan that will leave truck followers everywhere perplexed.


"My other car's a Reliant Robin"?
"The Yorkie Bars Are On Me"?
"This is not just a trucker... this is a Metero Sexual trucker"?

Rachel wrote:
and a new Alex blog too, he’s such a high flyer – check it out.


Yes, it's very good.
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Lord Evan Elpuss



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope you are filling your boots Rachel. Alex Lester is being Ken Bruce today & tomorrow.
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The superb broadcaster Pete Mitchell is covering Alex. Wink
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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's with the hiatus? Why no daily update? I hear you cry. Or maybe not. Have the truckers of the night made off up the M74 with our hero and heroine to stop them writing secret messages on their tailboards, or have they just made off to engorge themselves on their cargo of cornflakes, tomato ketchup and golden syrup?

Blame the distraction of the Dark Lord's excursion into the full glare of what passes for daylight at this time of year that is Ken Bruce's Popmaster, with its own little haituses, and the interruption of normal service and access to the box of tricks in the not-so-wee lad's room. Free of interference now, we are cleared for take-off with the wind in the willows and looking forward to that two-thirds of a pint at lunchtime at the end( http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/also_in_the_news/7688195.stm. ).

It's Feelgood Friday, of course, and not just because Alexander Armstrong is in the chair on Have I Got News For You tonight. It could be getting connected to broadband for the first time, or having a tooth fixed under guarantee, or maybe the warm glow you feel when you glance at your new puppy (just after it has wee'd in your lap).

Big Ron (definitely Not...) is looking forward to a hot date tomorrow, someone else has just been reuinted with her stolen Jag and found she's gained a case of champagne and a laptop (probably bearing the initials MI5 or HMPS). Best of all was Fudge the Hamster, lost beneath the floorboards and tempted out with the aid of a chocolate covered camera and a Hoover with a sock over the end. But don't try this at home, kiddies, because chocolate is poisonous to our rodent friend - use cheese instead.

The Lack of Willpower Support Group was on short time last night, and could only console the one caller whose attempt to lose weight was torpedoed by the reciept of a calendar from the local Chinese takeaway.

This week's Dilemma: You are invited to a best friend's slap-up birthday/dinner party at a posh restaurant, but are afraid you're short of cash to pay for it and wonder how you can leave early. At the same time the young lady you have been itching to date suddenly asks you out the same night. You can't do both so do you risk offending your best friend or miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime, and if you do take out the object of your affections what do you do when the money runs out? Well, why can't you take her to the birthday party, and what did they invent credit cards and Bad Debt Recovery Units for?

The search for a slogan to match and join Slap My Top and Beloxnia Or Bust came to a climax. Vorsprung durch Bovine, cross-referencing an earlier attempt to introduce a new standard measurement based on heiffers, steers and Milton Keynes' concrete cows, sounded a bit too intellectual for three in the morning, Nights Fly By With The Rise Guy a bit too Absolute Radio (Virgin in old money), and Let Them Eat Lard just doesn't bear thinking about. Joint winners are Seek The Dark and SCOF (Swirling Cesspool Of Filth), a kindly rejoinder from one of KB's listeners last week.

I think I liked Dark Is The New Light best. And, for the occasions when Pete Mitchell is sitting in, I Can't Believe It's Not Lard.

Normal service may be resumed next week...
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Rachel
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seek the Dark ! It’s SCOF time! “Swirling Cesspool Of Filth”. How one listener described Alex while he stood in/sat in, for KB last week….

Tis Monday , the sun is out (a little) and another five more fantastic days of fun packed early morning madness gifted in our direction.

Alex had one of those regular (I say regular – I’ve no idea of the periodicity) nerdy DJ weekends, where Alex and his mates ( he has mates?) try to outdo each other by organising a “do”, a little get together, in the most seediest of down trodden hotels this fine land of ours has to offer. It was in Manchester – so that shouldn’t have been a problem, and will no doubt be a tough act to follow. Alex will be blogging it later in the week. Kicked in door, no soap, missing cushions and the crying texter….. there’s a lesson...

I stayed in a hotel in Manchester a while back – it was quite a nice hotel (on the outside) about 200 rooms –how often do the Aeroplanes go by? So often you won’t even notice. When I arrived in my room – shower time, (7-30pm) they had no hot water left –phoned reception- where’s the hot water? It’ll be on again in the morning.


Back to the show and …

Familiar landmarks… do you know where they are but not why they are there ? Banbury Cross, Angel of the North- Cerne Abbas Giant ( I know it well) The White Horse. ( not the pub) The Wicker Man. The Three Witches, Seven Spanish Angels- (no that’s a song) Hardy’s Monument…..The Black Stump?

Some people say that the Cerne Abbas Giant had his manhood added by an adolescent miscreant. It’s not really a Landmark- just early day graffiti.

Grow up!- stop putting chewing gum on the posters displayed on the underground.

A bit of situation in ailse 26! – Emily, have you got some paper? You'll have to listen on the iplayer to check that out.

There’s lots more, and fab music too, but time is short today……
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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh how nice to have normal service resumed!

I missed what happened in aisle 26, though.

Some weird landmarks, not least Rayleigh Weir, where there is no weir.

John Craven pretended to help out the clean-up and re-whitening of the Cerne Abbas Giant the other week on Countryfile. He asked one of the workmen about the possible significance of the appendage; the reply was that in his experience the local girls didn't seem to need any extra help Embarassed

Manchester is not my favourite place - it seems to be a permanent building site and the public transport system takes great delight in removing half the trams in service just as Old Trafford disgorges its 70,000 spectators at five o'clock on Saturday. His hotel sounded like one of those places Bill Bryson loves to fill half a book moaning about.
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Rachel
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tingly Tuesday- sunny and cold- my planned shopping trip this morning has been thwarted by a time shifted retroactive Internet shopping experience of Sunday (last), so an e-mail in my in-box means that I’m having to stay in this morning to wait for City Link to turn up with some goodies in a bag. On the up-side I get to do the diary while listening to Alex and waiting for the parcel man/woman-……… van driver, that’s better, to arrive.

So what’s on today’s show? First of all, a complaint free zone.
More of those Landmarks you know nothing about, and a dilemma – getting too close on the tube- what do you do if someone touches you on an place where you’d rather they didn’t ? Perhaps it’s you who has been an accidental Mr Octopus- what did you do?
This happened, well something similar, occurred during my recent London visit – the tubes were packed- I was squashed and squeezed all over. ( It was fun until I realised that I couldn’t breathe) A good idea would be to have those bin-lorry type compactors in tube carriages – room for a small one?! Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhh jagooooooooofff .There is now. ….


(Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhh jagooooooooofff- that’s my best effort at describing the sound of the bin lorry squashy thing)

The Shark on the Roof.

The Tin Man and Woman Kissing.

Do it on line Alex – it’s so much easier!! – Tax disc that is- you don’t need to worry about insurance certificates and other paperwork- they know everything already! It only costs more if you use a credit card- use a debit card it’s a free transaction- well apart from the tax bit. What else do they know?

I had a great idea last night! I wrote it down on my great ideas in the night pad, on my bedside cabinet. It’s about this BST/GMT thing – how about we have BST in the mornings and GMT in the afternoons… it works like this. At midnight- put the clocks forward to 1am BST. ( so you lose an hour’s sleep- it’s no biggy) Everyone goes off to work in the morning, then work for 4 hours, and have lunch at 12:00 – then at 1 O’clock turn the clocks back to 12:00 GMT – so you’ve had lunch and still have 5 hours work to do. So nine hours of work every day and an hour for lunch (we can call that hour “lunchtime” if anyone asks), thus making the UK more competitive in the world markets. This even works for my love of the two-hour executive lunch, which would start at 11:59 BST and end 1:01 GMT. ….

SCOF! Have you seen it on a truck yet? Follow the dark--->

In case you’re missing it. It’s half term- so Alex's Five Languages of Love School is on holiday this week.

No parcel yet! The shops are emptying as I type….

" was there a squeaking sound- like balloons rubbing together?"
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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I caught up with Aisle 26! It was Cross Lane Bob (or should that have been Crossed-Legs?) and his urge to (pretend to) use the bathroom facility on display in the DIY warehouse store, thwarted by the absence of loo roll. His daughter, shamed by the embarassment, exacted revenge by regaling everybody with a long list of similar incidents which left him blushing.

Even the famous landmarks can be difficult to remember, as we needed a lesson about the inventor of the jet engine, commemorated on a roundabout near Lutterworth. Was the naval person, travelling between Portsmouth and Plymouth, referring to Poundbury as the old-new estate surrounded by a concrete wall with the five-legged stag at the gated entrance?

The aviator who found Aldershot gasometer handy for navigation reminds me that, in the 1960s, there were two such monstrosities, one at South Harrow and the other at Southall, just a few miles short of RAF Northolt and Heathrow Airport respectively. They had to label them, in huge white lettering, NOR and LHR because occasionally a civil jet airliner, full of holidaymakers or American businessmen, would get confused and try to put down on the wrong runway.

"Does this hand belong to anyone? I just found it on my ............."
The siren song of someone on the receiving end of ATT (definition helpfully supplied by m'learned friend below) or contact inadvertant or otherwise while travelling on a packed train or tube. (I think we had a thread about this here before, or was it on jezzas? Anyway, my mum, in her carefree single days 60-odd years ago, commuted on the Central Line between Northolt and the West End, and said she always had to remember to keep her legs crossed when standing in a packed train coming home Shocked )

Two mentions for Northolt on the one day. And not one superhero or daft Irish comedian in sight!
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Rachel
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah the Five Legged Stag is near Sturminster Marshall on the A31 in Dorset - it's a really long walled estate - it's an old wall but it's been rebuilt a zillion times cos cars keep driving through it. The road follows the wall for what seems like forever ( especially when behind a caravan) it's really long straight roads too but so busy you cannot overtake- it seems some people just drive through the wall to cure the boredom. The Stag on top of the gates really does have 5 legs - I thought people were referring to something else as the fith leg but no, it really does have 5 proper legs. It's not far away from the Tin Man and Woman kissing on the Four Humps.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 3:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Accidental todger touch Laughing Laughing

The blue humour always gets me.
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Rachel
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The great thing about tomorrow is; when it arrives the day after you missed out on something ( in my case shopping yesterday) you can just do "yesterday" today, it's a bit like a real life I-player. What I'm getting at is, I stayed in all day yesterday waiting for a parcel, which turned up about 20 minutes ago this morning! ( half dressed- me not the parcel) So the early update that you had yesterday, was in place of my going shopping, and the early update you would have had today, will be delayed, because the shopping I missed out on yesterday, is happening today. But it's worse than that because unlike the I-player - yesterday's events taking place today, haven't happend yet- my shopping list is now longer ( added some boot laces), and it's Market Day, which means everything will take longer. It's jolly cold too- it may take a while for my fingers to warm up when I get back.

So if there's any twypos- you'll know why..... more later.......Oh I may have to have a 250th post celebratory cup of tea in one of the new coffee shops in town( it really annoys them- when you ask for tea in a coffee shop) ...... Very Happy
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just a quickie today- been shopping- yes I remembered the laces- hubby will be impressed- it’s taken me only 3 weeks to remember them.
Well the snow I mentioned yesterday was very short lived (about 10 minutes): today it’s sunny- I’m not going to say and warm- cos it’s not. We have one of those – rather swish (if I say so myself) weather-stations in our garden – it collects all the weather data- wind, rain, heat, cold, pressure- all of that Weather stuff- then, transmits it to a little box of tricks in the house, which, displays the info. This morning it was a 19.7 degrees indoors and minus 1.2 degrees outdoors; by the time I was ready to go out- the temp outside had leapt to a huge 0.1 degrees – and on return it was a whopping 5.4 degrees- so if there was any short selling of temperature last night – those boys will be out in the cold this morning. Back to the show…..

The Swirling Cesspool Of Filth continues to overflow with a bubbling frothy happy warmness though the early hours…

Much as yesterday, thread-wise with loads more of those <cough>embarrassing touching moments, and lots more on the Grow–up! thread too.

A new thread: harmless mock-tales …. …go into a bar, ask for a “Beige Russian” … ten minutes later – you get a cup of tea!

There was little exaggeration going on last night …..hmmmmmm 8 inches of snow yesterday in places and minus 8 degrees too – lots of people managed to write SCOF and Seek the Dark--> on loads of dirty white trucks ….and one chap caught a fish …. This big! I did like the endless walking hand in hand along a beach story… make it a cold seafront – add a bag of chips, and that’s a posh do on a Saturday night for me. It doesn’t get any better than that. You have to share the chips though. If this doesn’t make sense – good – I’ve conveyed it correctly, cos I don’t understand it either.

Jet planes on roundabouts- what is the difference between a roundabout and a traffic island?

Loads of fab music this morning – especially in the magic hour….
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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rachel wrote:
Just a quickie today- been shopping- yes I remembered the laces- hubby will be impressed- it’s taken me only 3 weeks to remember them.


I have a Post-It note stuck on the front door to remind me to get some Body Shop Lemongrass Foot Spray (not for me). It's obviously in the wrong place, because it's starting to fade in the light andI still haven't...

Rachel wrote:
A new thread: harmless mock-tales …. …go into a bar, ask for a “Beige Russian” … ten minutes later – you get a cup of tea!


A Brown Cow - Milk and Coke (Sounds revolting, I daren't try it, but some sportsmen "wind down" with it apparently).

Rachel wrote:
I did like the endless walking hand in hand along a beach story… make it a cold seafront – add a bag of chips, and that’s a posh do on a Saturday night for me. It doesn’t get any better than that. You have to share the chips though. If this doesn’t make sense – good – I’ve conveyed it correctly, cos I don’t understand it either.


Cool

Rachel wrote:
Jet planes on roundabouts- what is the difference between a roundabout and a traffic island?


I was tempted (to look it up, that is), but couldn't bring myself to. So perhaps all is not lost.

Rachel wrote:
especially in the magic hour….


(Ask a silly question) Which is...?
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah Ron, the magic hour, I've not told anyone before about the magic hour-but as you ask....

A long long time ago- many many years(don't worry it's not a shaggy dog story)-before the days of I-player , even before listen again, I heard Alex say - "coming up after the news ... The Magic Hour"... so I listened ( as one would) but no mention of the magic hour, in that hour - which was the last hour of the show. So, I wrote to Alex to ask him, what had he meant "Magic Hour?". He wrote back saying that he had no clue what I was talking about and couldn't remember saying it. So from then on, I have called the last hour of the show, the Magic Hour, because what ever the Magic Hour that Alex referred to was- did a disappearing act before it happened, and that’s magic!

I’m listening and doing the diary for today’s show right now- I can’t wait to tell you about my home made pasta though… but I will…..wait that is.
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's not my fault! An old friend came in from out of town, my jacket didn't come back from the cleaners. I didn't have enough money for the taxi! Please don't shout at me.

After almost finishing the diary update for this morning, including a brief description of my home made pasta - this little fella jumped onto our upstairs office window ledge. So-rushed to get my camera- he was still there when I got back- took a few pics - uploaded them - and in the process crashed my laptop- diary update lost... Crying or Very sad and now I'm all out of time. Crying or Very sad ..but don't blame me . Confused .. it's this cute little fella's fault... Rolling Eyes .. but look at him . Very Happy .. he's all cold, wet and lonely.... how can we shout at him... Question ..... I'm off to buy some nuts... Smile



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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

(I know I probably shouldn't, because he's a grey, but) yes, he is cute. Send him up here, I've got loads of acorns for free (but don't tell my neighbour, who is still trying to get its relatives out of his roofspace!)

Autumnwatch (on BBC2 every evening) is currently camped on Brownsea Island, where the National Trust is nurturing a colony of reds. Elsewhere they did show some greys, and their ingenuity in navigating an obstacle course, and ability to adapt immediately to any sudden alteration to it, by fearlessly jumping over a gap. Fascinating, as was the whole programme, and the choice of Kate Humble to co-present with Bill Oddie for all these series has been inspired.
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I saw Autumn Watch and the gap jumping Squirrel had me in stitches. Loved the slow motion camera shots.. what comedians these little creatures are! red or grey.
I could watch a whole programme of obstacle courses for Squirrels!
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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In brief, from Alex's cocktail jug this morning:-

There's a distinct dearth of notable landmarks by the side of the road or on roundabouts. (This could be because everyone is too busy looking for the speed cameras, or because they've been nicked.) We get a plastic goose on one of ours for a couple of weeks at the beginning of October, which is so not-worth-nicking that even the students have stopped kidnapping it for their rag week.

The little things in life that annoy. How long have you got?.... No, I offically no longer qualify as Grumpy Old Man (and that phrase in itself makes me... Evil or Very Mad ). People who dip a wet coffee spoon into the sugar bowl/caddy and leave a trail of brown bits... deposits for a trolley at the airport, said one texter (now texting is really worth ranting about)... the bloke who stopped for a leak (you don't want to know any more)...

Someone was sad enough to look up the difference between a roundabout and a traffic island but, since it came from wiki, we're really none the wiser.

What is the point of fingerless gloves?

Those mocktails. Never mind the content revel in the names - the Graceful Curtsy and the Polite Bow, the Forelock Tug and the Cap Ringer (well, believe it or not the first one exists: creme de menthe over ice with cream and grated chocolate). From Detroit (or should that have been Dubai?) Abstinence On The Beach.

Off the top of my head the Sunburnt Canadian (tangelo and cranberry juices) and the Perthshire Kiss (Raspberry and ginger).

I remembered the foot spray yesterday! Two brownie points!
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 11:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feelgood Friday again. Are you feeling warm and fluffy?... Then I'll begin.

Tonight is Hallowe'en - little children are turned into witches and ghosts (so, what's new?) courtesy of kits from the supermarket and with make-up courtesy of mum, and call to raid your tin of sweeties, filling their M&S Bag For Life and making sure that dentists are never short of employment. Ignore them or quote the Pedlars' Act 1971 at your peril, for as sure as eggs are eggs that will be the older mob with darker designs in mind, usually in tomato ketchup on your front door.

What this town is missing is a Countdown theme pub, named The Richard Whiteley, or one of the 59,000 useless anagrams supplied by the net - The Chair Hired Wetly is but one. It would serve Vowel Mild and Conundrum Strong Ale, but you would only have nine letters and thirty seconds to spell out your order - it's worth the effort, though, because with every pint successfully drawn you win a goody bag (worth approximately the same as Carol's successor's salary).

Mocktails started with a Warm Cuddle By The Fire (Cup-a-Soup) and went into dreamland - the Crafty Caress, the Loving Hug, and the Angel's Kiss. Amazingly enough, the last one is real (Benedictine and cream) but I think I prefer the dream.

The Dark Lord's reward for accepting, rather than making, suggestive calls, is Russell Brand's gig tomorrow night. Does the Beeb have enough lines to cope?
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Rachel
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And on the seventh day .... he rested!

Just a quick note - I'm transferring my input to the Dark Lord Diaries to my personal blog, and it'll be weekly rather than daily, but since nobody ( not you Ron) actually reads this - you won't even notice... Smile How cool is that?...There's too much proper really serious stuff being discussed on here by people who have important things to say, and will jolly well say them! It would be such a shame to dumb down the recent virulent viral outbreak of opinion with this trivial nonesense. Smile
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I read it... Sad
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't panic Santa!!!! I'll post a link - when I've sorted it...... Smile.... I'm jolly impressed to have two readers ... Smile
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 11:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Rachel, today might be the first time I've ever looked at this thread, honestly can't remember looking in before, anything could have been going on here!

So now I can see what I've been missing! Don't understand any of it, but I can see what I've been missing Smile
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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Makes much more sense than 99% of everything else around here, and I'm so pleased, proud and happy to have been a little part of it.
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"There's something unusual going on in the garden of England. "


This might be good news: last night, my hubby held me upside down by my ankles, until I agreed not to overspend on Christmas this year. ( Little does he know that I've done most of the pressy buying already) So, I agreed. The whole episode made me realise that moving this diary to my blog ( which I'm not technically minded enough to do anyway) is not one of my best ideas. Alex's show is too important in the whole scheme of things to tuck away in some obscure blog. So it'll be back here soon.....(ish).

Oh just to explain; the garden of England stuff , and the being held upside down stuff, are two different things - they are not connected in any way. For more details on the goings on in the graden of England... check out the iplayer.....listening to Alex this morning was like taking that first breath after being held underwater against your will for longer than you were happy with .......... Very Happy Very Happy


PS: you just have to accept that sometimes I get moody- we all do!
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's not that I'm an Ebenezer Scrooge type, but buying Christmas presents belongs to an era long gone for me.. Razz
My wife and I don't have kids and I have no family so I'm off the hook and I like it that way now.
We don't buy each other presents either! Laughing
Although it was great at the time, when my mum and sister were alive the present buying usually got out of hand - must buy them both exactly the same number and "grade" of presents.. and it was really more than we could afford too.
I love Christmas and my fun now comes from decorating our business here with trees and lights. ( we get a lot of compliments for it )
For the last few years, I've made up a model train layout under one of the bigger trees and I have to stand guard glowering at the kids if they get too close!
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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 9:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your place sounds idyllic, SF

We still exchange presents around the family but it has long since become an almost impossible task thinking of something nice and original that they haven't already got. Nearly everybody gives us gift vouchers, so we don't even have that easy option (there was one year when I gave my brother an HMV voucher and got the same in return!)

Everyone comes to us for Christmas Day lunch (that will be nine, plus two children and a dog - it's cozy, alas no room for a train set!)
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Rachel
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 10:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The problem with Christmas these days is that we all have too much money. The thing that Christmas has lost; is the disappointment of not getting all you’ve dreamed of, ( that little red and white bike with the box on the back for putting things in)but then being able to come to terms with that pretty quickly and enjoy that which you do have. I remember my brothers each getting a third share in 2 mechano sets between 6 of them, an orange and some nuts – they were happy!

My hubby is an only child- he still has games from his childhood (for 2 or players) unopened. He was never given the things that were “of the moment”, things like scaletrix ( is that how you spell it?) and train sets… so….

I’ve been buying him – all the toys you could ever wish for over the last six years but he’s fed up with toys now- I’m under very strict instructions – “Look”, he said, “ I’m 45 years old- NO MORE TOYS!” ( I can’t help it though- I like toys) He’s always going on at me to make things myself – pies etc- grow my own veg and all that sort of stuff. Well: this year, it’s his turn- I’ve bought him a Home Brewery- barrels and bottles and pipes, and scoops and funny looking bits and bobs – so now he can make his own beer for when the football is on. Just as long as he doesn’t ask me to start growing the ingredients….

I love Christmas – what I love is the feeling that I get inside my tummy – all the memories I have of Christmas’ past, gather up into a warm gloopy lump and sit in my tummy – a bit like time travelling in a Christmas Pudding.
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SantaFefan



Joined: 07 Dec 2006
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Location: top of the cliffs in Norfolk

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks RR.. I really like the old place and it makes for a great care home with the position we've got but what with staff hassles Rolling Eyes and ever increasing work load, we've both got to the point where we want out.
I thought we'd sold it a year ago but it fell through at the last moment - possibly early victims of the credit crunch as the company concerned also backed out of four other deals. But we've a plan in place and sticking to it.

Rachel wrote:
.... that little red and white bike with the box on the back for putting things in


Back in the 60s, "the bike" to have around here was the Raleigh "Palm Beach" and all my pals had the two tone blue version. When I got one for Christmas - it was red and white! Mad ( with a white saddle bag on the back.. )
Talk about odd one out.

Quote:
He was never given the things that were “of the moment”, things like scaletrix ( is that how you spell it?) and train sets…


Christmas could be great for boys then. Scalextric and trains were top of the list for me for many years.. in the winter when the tourists had gone, me and my brother would have trains running all over the place!
I still collect large scale american trains and some diecast cars too.
I have a large display cabinet full of 'em.. makes me smile whenever I see them. keeps me young at heart! Razz
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 1:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

SantaFefan wrote:


Quote:
He was never given the things that were “of the moment”, things like scaletrix ( is that how you spell it?) and train sets…


Christmas could be great for boys then. Scalextric and trains were top of the list for me for many years.. in the winter when the tourists had gone, me and my brother would have trains running all over the place!
I still collect large scale american trains and some diecast cars too.
I have a large display cabinet full of 'em.. makes me smile whenever I see them. keeps me young at heart! Razz


I always wanted, but never got, a Scalextric (Airfix actually made a superior version which a friend had and I put that on my list, with the predictable result that I got something completely different, to build, and if you knew me (and my dad) you'd know how ridiculous a propostion that was!). I did eventually get a very small train set, not of a Flying Scotsman or Golden Arrow but a humble suburban diesel multiple unit - still, I used pocket money to add track and scenery and had it for years until the transformer packed up and for some reason that escapes me now it couldn't be replaced and I lost interest.

I do now have a collection of diecast model buses, of the type and routes which used to run in the area of outer London we used to live in the 60s, as well as of Nottingham. My wife thinks they're an eyesore, and they do take some dusting, but they remind me of my childhood.
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SantaFefan



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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's right, we soon moved over to the Airfix race track and it was better. The track was grey with little opaque plastic locking pieces holding the track together.
It was better for us because the motorised cars could be adapted to take the bodies of the Airfix "Plastic Bag" car kits! so we had Mark3 Zephyrs running around our track! Laughing
There was also a slot car system called "V.I.P." which was ok but their track was chromium plated so didn't make for good road holding.
I remember taking a couple of full boxes to the local second hand shop and got £3 for the lot.
In those days, kids were either Hornby fans, metal locomotives and silly 3 rail track, or the more realistic 2 rail Triang types.
I was strictly Triang.

I have quite a few of the Corgi buses in the American line series but I recently saw one of the big 1/50 scale Routemaster Double Deckers which, because of it's size, was pretty impressive so I bought one in the "Green Line" livery for display. Looks great! pity the lights don't work though... Razz
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RockitRon



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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rachel wrote:
I’ve bought him a Home Brewery- barrels and bottles and pipes, and scoops and funny looking bits and bobs – so now he can make his own beer for when the football is on. Just as long as he doesn’t ask me to start growing the ingredients….


Very Happy Sounds an excellent idea! **!!** years ago home brewing was very popular, and Boots in particular used to have a large area given over to stocks of the various bits and pieces. It has all declined, to the point where you can't find them anywhere, no doubt in the face of the ultra-cheap prices for cans and bottles of the favourite pub brands in supermarkets.

In truth, though, (I find that) the canned and bottled stuff is awful, and so gassy. (I'm no great drinker anyway, but usually manage a pint at the regular pub get-together with ex-colleagues. Stick a bottle in my hand at a party, though, and chances are it will only be half-consumed at the end.)

As I recall, though, you do need plenty of space for home brewing, and you're quite likely to fall over demi-johns and vats of fermenting liquid in most of your cupboards!

Rachel wrote:
I love Christmas – what I love is the feeling that I get inside my tummy – all the memories I have of Christmas’ past, gather up into a warm gloopy lump and sit in my tummy – a bit like time travelling in a Christmas Pudding.


Smile Cool
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gosh! Do you two ever sleep?! Seek the dark-->

It’s Thursday already…. my head feels like a sponge cake- so if this doesn't make sense.... well does it ever?

And amongst lots of other things ……

The Senior Plumber and the “Secret ingredient”…….. “Boss White” – that’s the stuff.

I know a plumber, he’s called Steve. I call him, “Steve the Plumber”, I have to call him that to distinguish him from another Steve, he is called “Big Steve” for no other reason than his extreme tallness. They've never been in the same room together though. Well, not with me anyway....

Do you have any “trade secrets”?

Yep; a spoon of honey in with your chicken when you roast it – makes fantastic gravy.

Two table spoons of Olive Oil in your bread maker instead of butter……. Yummy and it’s good for you too…

A Can of wind? I didn’t understand that one.

“SCOF” has been sighted on an Environmental Services (Rubbish) Truck….. Just how “Green” is the BTOTDS?

Oh…. Colin the gardener has just arrived…. Back in a mo…….

They always start with a cup of tea and a long chat, these gardeners.


Ahhh… now I get it, Wagon tyres … can of wind that is….or is it?


Interesting question in the magic hour. Can’t think why not. Well: apart from that one reason obviously, but putting that to one side – in fact, pop it into a shoe box , tie it up real tight with string then put it on a top shelf somewhere out of the way – then yeah, why not.


Alex's blog has been updated too.... it's only when you see Alex holding a pint of beer, that you realise just how cute and cuddly he really is.... Wink
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rachel wrote:

a spoon of honey in with your chicken when you roast it – makes fantastic gravy.


Yes, I've tried that, and it does. No-one else agreed with me, though Crying or Very sad


Rachel wrote:
Oh…. Colin the gardener has just arrived…. Back in a mo…….

They always start with a cup of tea and a long chat, these gardeners.


Very Happy Even when you make sure the tea is a drinkable temperature first! Aunt in Worcs had one (she did have two-thirds of an acre to tend, but gardener was as old as she was and he always reminded me of the actor Michael Bilton, who did the Yellow Pages ad with the lawnmower, except he already had a swish Honda to play with) and I'm sure he spun out more time drinking and chatting than he did actually gardening.


Rachel wrote:
it's only when you see Alex holding a pint of beer, that you realise just how cute and cuddly he really is.... Wink


http://alexlesterspersonalblog.blogspot.com/

Erm...
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My mum has sent me a joke - don't blame me, my mum sent me this....


"You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things seem really funny?

Well this morning, at some traffic lights, I bumped into the back of the car in front.

So, there we were alongside the road; slowly the other driver got out of his car.

Well, I couldn't believe it.. he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started... .."
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing

Your mum rocks!! Wink
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 10:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feelgood Friday again, and to prove it Milk and Alcohol is served in the theme pub devoted to the Give Us A Clue television show. The charades are on you as you have to mime your order at the bar without getting thrown out for making obscene gestures. Not easy when all you want from the barmaid is a lager with a large top and a packet of pork scratchings, but nigh-on impossible for the bright young cocktail crowd, who used to work for the now-defunct investment bank, looking for somewhere cheaper than the Slug & Lettuce for their night out, and requiring a Long Hard Screw or Sex On The Beach.

We've been caught on camera and sent a Congestion Charge fine - which takes the shine off that lovely new pair of shoes, bought after much havering, or was that in Havering? No good appealing to Boris' Feelgood nature - he's got to find an extra £48 million which they've only now told him is the cost of replacing all those bendy buses.

SCOF is beating Seek The Dark blackened hands down. There's a trailer park somewhere with a faulty washing facility and people are panic-daubing the initials on every tailgate they can find.

Oh no, It's Just An Illusion - brings back memories of the flat I moved into upon flying the nest. Occupant below played this on Repeat at great volume, with the bass vibrating the windows, well into the night, and at first resisted all polite requests to muffle it. However, I had a trump card - The Edgar Broughton Band's Out Demons Out, - and a few doses of that beaming down at eight o'clock on a Sunday morning soon had him showing a bit more restraint with the loudness knob.

November 5th has passed off extraordinarily quietly - everyone must have bought the new Health & Safety brand of firework, that goes ahh! and phur! instead of whoosh and bang. Even that most gentle of incendiary, the sparkler, is deemed far too explosive and has been replaced by Woodstock-surplus joss sticks.

Advance warning of Antlerwatch, fiendishly complex game of point-scoring and velvet-stripping, to come next month. You might just see a few of them out on a dry run (and I use that phrase advisedly and in rather faint hope, given the weather forecast) on the Lincolnshire coast this weekend; any red noses also spotted will almost certainly not be due to the heat. Don't forget the Omnibus Edition of the BTOTD show on Saturday, Live and without any expensive phone calls, not even to congratulate Barack Obama on becoming the soon-to-be-most-vilified-man on the planet (the papers have already started on his wife).
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If it weren't for dastardly deeds going on four and a half thousand miles away the papers would surely be full of the bad news that our lad is taking next week as holiday - Pete umyer Mitchell is sitting in.

So this Feelgood Friday is a bit of a contradiction, especially as the impending break necessitated another clearout of the fridge - hot dog and pineapple chunk sandwiches anyone?

The one sure-fire bestseller in Woolies for the next week is those furry antlers (just try before you buy, cos the ones someone bought for a certain stag do kept falling off) because Antlerwatch is set to launch when he gets back - the rules might take all morning to explain and forever to understand.

In advance of which, Santa Claus training schools are doing a roaring trade, and several graduates have already been let loose and been spotted lurking behind the concession stand in the carpark. Political correctness has obviously been thrown at the wall, because this year's bunch are toeing the traditionalist line - one smoking, abusive and child-hating, one inebriated after four straight double whiskies (Rudolph is designated driver after all), and one tight or barely literate, as you never seem to get that Ferrari you really, really want.

Meanwhile, lorries up and down are motorways are being routinely SCOFfed, and their drivers plied with fried carrot cake and home-made macaroni cheese with Worcestershire sauce. Sounds like good pothole filler.

And if the disappointment of the prospect of PM was not enough to do it, the image of Copenhagen's Mermaid with her head sawn off, the Tivoli Gardens closed for the winter and the Grand Canyon being compared on a scale of overratedness with an avocado pear will surely do the trick and persuade you to go and visit your nearest German Market and sample one of their warm and delicious* cherry mulled wines. (*I'll let you know)
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Lord Evan Elpuss



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PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did anyone else listen to tonight's Friday Night Is Music Night? It was presented by Herr Slappmeister. And not one mention of SCOF or 'Seek the dark' that I heard! Perhaps I should be calling him Herr Scofmeister from now on!!
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