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Another Joke from my mum

 
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Rachel
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:48 am    Post subject: Another Joke from my mum Reply with quote

The Four Cats !

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were .

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,

'T-square, do your stuff.'

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen biscuits. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 biscuits...........Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said 'Measure, do your stuff.'

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a litre of milk, got a 10 millilitre glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 10 millilitres without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?'

The Government Employee called his cat and said.....

'Coffee Break.....do your stuff.'

Coffee Break jumped to his feet...........



Ate the biscuits...............



Drank the milk.............



Sh*t on the paper....................



Screwed the other three cats.....................



Claimed he injured his back while doing so..................



Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.........



Put in for Workers Compensation...............and



Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.............!!!!!!!!!!
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MadeinSurrey



Joined: 11 Dec 2006
Posts: 3130
Location: The Beautiful South

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your Mum is a hoot, get her to sign up to R2ok!
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RockitRon



Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 7565

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing
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Rachel
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll ask her MiS but she is a very busy lady..... she has though, sent me another joke this morning as well as a recipie, and instructions to phone my brother in hospital -..don't think ahhh poor chap is in hospital though... no symapthy required... .. he hurt himself during a fight (which had nothing to do with him- but he joined in anyway) in a Newcastle nightclub...... he's been waiting a few weeks to have some repair work done to his chest........it's being done today...

anyway .. the joke.....

Bush & Israeli Mossad

After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Osama bin Laden is still alive', Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he passed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, and then to MI6.

Eventually they asked the Mossad (Israeli intelligence) for help.

Within a minute the Mossad emailed the White House with this reply:

'Tell the President he's holding the note upside down




PS... how uncool would it be if I was hanging out in the same place as my mum....even though she does rock.... she had her knees replaced a while ago .... in hospital she said .... grand things these plastic knees but they do take the edge off my Rock Chick image.
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RockitRon



Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 7565

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rachel wrote:
PS... how uncool would it be if I was hanging out in the same place as my mum....even though she does rock.... she had her knees replaced a while ago .... in hospital she said .... grand things these plastic knees but they do take the edge off my Rock Chick image.


A formidable, not to say slightly scary, double act, I'd say! Laughing

(I wonder how many of our 60s/70s/, 80s even, rock icons are jumping around on plastic knees today)

Rachel wrote:
my brother in hospital -..don't think ahhh poor chap is in hospital though... no symapthy required... .. he hurt himself during a fight (which had nothing to do with him- but he joined in anyway) in a Newcastle nightclub...... he's been waiting a few weeks to have some repair work done to his chest........it's being done today...


OK, no sympathy, but I hope it goes all right with him, Rach Smile
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